Friday, March 4, 2011

Baby Showers and Etiquette... Say WHAT?!

24 weeks and counting! 

Things are getting pretty exciting! My baby (tentatively named Julian, unless someone comes up with a better name, which I doubt) is pretty lively (except today, it seems yesterday he got a little carried away with the kicking and today he's been pretty mellow... don't like that!) and growing up well, thank God.

Of course, with time going by so quickly my husband and I started thinking about Baby Showers. Now, I've never had a baby before, and I've never really paid attention to who throws the shower. One of my friends, Jenn and I went out to celebrate her birthday and she told me that I was not supposed to throw my own shower. I am sure she laughed internally at my "huh?!" expression. She offered to do it for me (which I am super grateful for), but I told her I'd rather use her help setting up a list of items I'll need for Julian. But that conversation got me thinking: who is supposed to throw the baby shower?!

I logged on to BabyCenter and found this thread. As I sifted through some answers I came to realize how controversial this is in the United States and yet, not so much in Puerto Rico. You see, in Puerto Rico we don't really need an excuse to party so whenever we DO have an excuse we take it. It doesn't really matter to us WHO threw the party or whether or not we have to bring gifts as long as we get to eat, drink, dance and have a wonderful time. So it is not an issue of etiquette here. In the states, it sort of is. In fact, it is considered "tacky" to throw yourself a Baby Shower because, when it boils down to the nitty gritty, a Baby Shower is to get gifts for the baby.

Personally, I don't really understand what all the fuss is about. I am about to become a new parent (if all goes well), and I've brought countless presents for other friends for their Baby Showers and it has never crossed my mind that it is tacky that she is getting presents for her baby. Why would it be? Why should I think that a person is "thoughtless" for "bringing a baby into the world and expecting presents?". Maybe the truth is, I want to throw a Baby Shower but I don't care if I get all the presents on my list. And the only reason I am making a Baby Registry is because it made MY life so much easier when I had to buy presents for a Baby Shower and it came from a pre-chosen registry! Whether I get presents or not is completely irrelevant (although, who DOESN'T like a present?!), all I want is for people to come in and share this amazing life experience I am going through. 

I want people to love my baby now, before he is born, and that they will continue to love him forever. I want them to live this experience with me, to touch my belly, say a prayer and wish beautiful things for him. All I want is to be surrounded by friends and family that love us and are there with us always. Some of our friends have been with my husband and me during our courtship, they attended our wedding, they are with us during my pregnancy and I want them to experience my baby with me. Whoever throws the shower shouldn't really matter in the end.

So to make things simple, I am making it a cooperative event. 

What is that?

Simple. My mom is planning some things. My mother in law will be planning others. My sister in law will help with invites. I'm asking my friend Elaine with help with decorations (she is AMAZING!) and Jenn will come with me to help me with the Baby Registry and all those details I know nothing about. A lot of people will be helping in lots of different ways... and you know what? It sounds like a heck of a good time already!

Can't hardly wait for Julian to get here!