Showing posts with label Birth. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Birth. Show all posts

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Just like that, I was pregnant no more...

I was swimming in my parent's pool at 9:30pm on Father's Day, which this year was June 19th, 2011. I had experienced Braxton Hicks contractions all day, so they weren't painful or even particularly noticeable. In fact, the time that I was swimming in the pool I didn't feel any contractions at all. My husband wanted me to enjoy this day as much as possible, and also to get as much exercise as I could so I would dilate more effectively. After all, on Monday I would get a final check up with my OB-GYN and then labor would be induced. 

So I happily enjoyed my day and my swim, thinking that the next day I would be pregnant no longer, and my baby Julian would be in my arms.

At 10:30pm we were still all laughing and having a good time. I stood up to get ready to leave and I felt a sharp pain in my lower back. I felt myself go pale, then slowly I uttered: "I think I don't feel very good. I want to go home and rest..."

Everyone stopped talking and fixed their eyes on me. They would later tell me my expression was completely different to my usual smile, and that all the color had left my face. It was weird enough that I had complained that I wasn't feeling well, especially when I'd been so active and happy during my entire pregnancy, but my facial expression gave away exactly how much pain I had experienced.

My cousin Hiram took everything from my arms and walked me to my car, with my husband following close behind. My husband asked me what I was feeling... the only way I can describe it is a sharp pain in my lower back, and an overwhelming desire to go to the bathroom. Colorful, I know, but that is how I felt. He asked me why I hadn't tried to go to the bathroom at my parent's place. I couldn't answer then, because another deep, sharp pain attacked my lower back. I took deep breaths and replied: "because I didn't feel like going to the bathroom THEN, I feel like going to the bathroom NOW!" He smiled and continued driving. Luckily, we live close to my parents place.

Once home, I put everything away in its place and climbed upstairs to take a shower. During the shower, the pains started getting worse, and there was less and less time in between. My husband helped me dry myself and get dressed and I called my doctor. The contractions were less than two minutes apart and incredibly painful, but he still told me it could take hours until I was ready to have my baby and that it was better for me to wait at home. I called my mom (who is also a doctor) and she told me the same thing. So I laid on my left side and braced myself for a long, sleepless night. My husband fell asleep quickly, not before telling me to wake him if I needed him. It was already 11:15pm. 

Suddenly, I felt amazingly, indescribably bad. I quickly woke my husband and cried: "I need to get up and go to the bathroom now!" He got up and helped me. I hadn't put on underwear for some reason and it turned out to be a good thing, because once I was on my feet, a bloody thing came out of me and a gush of blood ran down my legs. My husband looked horrified for all of five seconds and then whirred into action. He helped me go to the bathroom and cleaned me up. Then he asked me: "What do you want to do?!" At this point, I was lying on my side in bed once again, a very painful contraction came then and, amazingly, my body PUSHED on its own. I looked at him, frightened, and said: "I want to go to the hospital. I don't care if I have to wait for hours to deliver my baby! I'd rather be there, safe, than here wondering what'll happen!"

So out we went. He called my parents and they said they'd be right behind us. He called my doctor, who said the Hospital would call him (he later said he told my husband to call him later) when we got there. 

I'm not sure what happened on the drive there, but I found it mercifully fast. Now the contractions were every minute to 30 seconds, very very painful, and every two contractions my body would push on its own. My husband kept telling me things I can't really recall. I was there, but at the same time I wasn't. It was as if I was asleep in a way... I could barely open my eyes. I was bathed in sweat, even though I was cold, and all I could think about was my baby. Was he safe? Was he ok?

We made it to the Emergency Room and the idiot they have outside told my husband to get a wheelchair and wheel me in. Then he proceeded to walk away. My husband did just that, as I tried my best to climb down from our car and sit down on the wheelchair. Once inside the ER, he immediately drove me in, and one nurse asked: "Is it her turn?" I was completely shocked. Couldn't she see this was a REAL emergency?! I gasped: "I wasn't on the list! I just got here! I'm having my baby!" She gave me a condescending look and asked me: "Are you here because you have some pain?"

I gave her a withering look. "No. I'm here because I am already PUSHING!"

That got them moving. I answered all the questions they asked me the best way I could (gasping sometimes, whispering other times...) and they wheeled me to the OB-GYN room in the ER. My mom got there then and, although I love my husband and was glad to have him there, I was ECSTATIC that my mommy was there with me. The nurse connected me to the monitor (Julian's heartbeat sounded fine) and they could see clearly that the contractions were intense. At one point, mom said: "See? That contraction was softer than the others!" To which I replied: "OR SO YOU SAY!" My husband, my mom and the nurse burst out laughing. I couldn't really see the humor then, but I can kind of see it now... kinda! 

The ER doctor checked me out and declared that I was 6cm dilated. The nurse gave him a funny look behind his back. He said I would take hours to give birth and that it would be painful. I asked if they had epidural or something to which they all laughed and he said: "With much pain, you will deliver your baby." My mom told me he said that, I didn't hear him. If I had I probably would have insulted him for being so uncaring. He walked out and the nurse said: "He says it will take her hours, I think it will be a lot sooner. You are going to the Delivery Room right now!"

So they took me there. I was holding on to my mom the whole way, because my husband and my dad had to go deal with the hospital admission. I held on to her until they told me she couldn't go any further. I turned to her and said: "Mom, I love you... SO MUCH..." She smiled, kissed my forehead and assured me she loved me too. 

It was 1:00am. Once inside the Delivery Room, they asked me if I could stand up and take off my clothes so they could put that ugly thing you have to wear... I did stand up and I tried to be brave and strong. I didn't scream, I just grunted once in awhile when my body pushed. They kept asking me questions, which I answered but now I can't recall. One of them grabbed my arm to put in the IV, another grabbed my other arm to take a blood sample. They both told me to hold my breath as they prepared to pinch me with their needles. I didn't feel a thing... all I felt was the intense contractions breaking havoc in my body. I pushed again, this time deliberately. My cousin Grechi had told me that, unless the nurses said otherwise, pushing would make me feel better. And it did! 

One of the nurses pursed her lips and asked the other: "Have you checked how far along is she? She's pushing already..."

They checked me and looked at one another. It was 1:15am. "She is fully dilated! Which idiot down there said she was only 6cm along?! Did you call the doctor?"

I assumed they meant MY doctor, but they called the OB-GYN that was due to work the ER that night, which was not the same idiot downstairs (thank GOD!) 

A long contraction came and I pushed once again. My water broke at 1:20am. A nurse said: "There's meconium in the water..."

My heart sank. I knew exactly what that meant, but I asked anyways. She explained that meconium is the baby's first discharge. I know that if the baby breathes meconium, it could harm his lungs, other organs or even his blood. But I didn't have time to dwell on it: I asked if my husband could come in. At that moment the doctor came in and allowed my husband to come in as well. 

The doctor explained to me how I was supposed to push and when. He assured me: "Three pushes and it will all be over!"

I nodded. All of a sudden he got very serious and said: "Nurse, could you please get a gauze?" She did. He said: "Would you scratch my nose for me?" 

My husband snorted. 

"Isn't it something that once you get ready and all THEN you get the itch? I mean really..." the doctor continued talking.

I knew there was something really funny about the whole situation. I told myself to remember to laugh later.

The first contraction came, and I pushed. The doctor told me I'd done great, and that he was almost there. My husband looked down and then up at me again. He smiled and held my hand and told me how brave I was. 

The second contraction came, and I pushed hard. I felt something down there tear and I cried out in pain and shock. The nurse told me not to scream, because I could hurt my throat. The doctor said the baby was almost there and my husband, after having looked down himself, told me not to stop, that the baby really WAS almost there.

The third contraction came and with a final push the monitors went silent. My baby gurgled, then cried.

Just like that, my pregnancy was over.

To be continued...

M.

Friday, June 17, 2011

Week 38 to 39 and my Second Baby Shower!


Yes! I was actually blessed with having a second Baby Shower! My family (thank you so much: Lilly, Sharon, Eduardo, Mom, Dad, Patricia and my wonderful husband) was amazing and I can't say thank you enough! Thank you, thank you thank you!

It was a very beautiful day, which in itself was a blessing because we'd been having rain the entire week and the forecast actually called for more rain during the weekend! As you can see, the activity is part outdoors, part indoors so we were very nervous, but everything was awesome! I was a bit sad about the attitude of some people (and I'm pretty sure they know who they are) who didn't seem particularly happy and kept mostly to themselves but I can't please everyone, I guess. We tried, though... And we didn't let the attitude displayed by those people to bring us down. We simply ignored it and went on! 

Now... I'm living week 38, tomorrow to be week 39. I had two appointments with my doctor this week to check on my dilation and he asked me whether I wanted to be induced into giving birth on Friday or if I'd wait until Monday. Today's Friday and here I am writing to you all, so as you can see, I chose to wait. Everyone so far backs up my decision but I know some don't get it...

You see, I really want to try to have this baby naturally, and there is no reason to rush. I won't wait any longer than Monday, though, but there was no rush for me to give birth on Friday. Another reason for waiting is...

Wait for it...

I'm scared.

Yup. I am.

Crazy, huh? Or not so much?

Here's the thing: I'm dying to meet my baby. I cannot wait to have him in my arms and hug him and kiss him and eventually, share him with the world. But I am also scared. Right now he is with me all the time, inside me, living everything with me. Being here and changing my life a little at a time, but not making a huge impact quite yet. Once he is here, he is here forever and I know my life will be changed forever. While I know it will be for the better, how can I not be scared about a life changing moment? In a couple of hours I will go through pain, uncertainty (When will he be born?! Will he be ok?! Will he be healthy?!) and finally, hopefully, incredible joy.

How can I not be scared? And excited? And scared again? And emotional?

Again, I must say, I am extremely lucky to have such a beautiful family that supports me and is with me every step of the way. People like my parents, my sister, Eduardo, Sharon, Edlianne, Edier, my cousin Lilly, my cousin Chrystel, my friend Michelle, my grandparents, my cousin Lorraine (wish you were here, honey!), our friend Neisha and her husband, my mother and father in law and so many others have helped me through this journey and I know they will all be here with us when Julián is born and for that I will be forever grateful.

And to God... I will definitely BE FOREVER GRATEFUL. Grateful for making me a mother, for the ups and downs of life, for all the people that surround me... for everything.

I am scared, yes. But I am also hopeful. I know this will alter my life in ways I can't even begin to imagine, but I can also feel my heart swell up with even more love than I already had.

I can't wait.

Love,

M.